It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize