it wasn't lemon gatorade
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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