Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
