U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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