i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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