Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize