I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
