My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize