and she was petting her beer can
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
