Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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