i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize