I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
