OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize