I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
