Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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