im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
