remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
