my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
