Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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