I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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