He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
