You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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