My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
