plz talk dirty to me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
