Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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