of course. lets lasso hookers.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
