Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
