I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
