your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
