i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
