I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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