I think my vagina is haunted
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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