I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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