kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
