I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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