listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Shame is for Republicans.
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