I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
