I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
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