Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My vagina is officially offended.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
