In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize