they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
