I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
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Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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