And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
