But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize