Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
