I hate all girls vehemently.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
