He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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