She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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