Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
