So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize