glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude i'm inner monologue high
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
