your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.