at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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