Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize