Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
