RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
