I'm drive I can fine osifer
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize