My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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