She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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