Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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